The proud suicidal maniac-craving

At hitting the wall
the pain
flows through his body like
electric current
warmly
trembles as
he stood by the edge
the temptation to jump the fear
brings strange kinds of ecstasy

The outbreak of war
fulfils so many peoples' longing
willingly he puts on the shining uniform, packed
with all sorts of fancy weapons
brave was he
as they fought through the dragging war
“Unharmed except a few bruises, nothing much but daily patrols”
that’s the words he sends back

Wandered idly
among alien eyes
on distant sands
the camel outside the bazaar
cried at the barking dogs
she walked towards the check point
both of them were searching as their
young innocent eyes met
dressed in the aged old white gown
like a bride
with a clean smile
she pulled the trigger
a small piece of bombshell cuts through his heart
I wonder
if he finally got the great expectation he craves for
that ordinary day, or
just the usual boldness as
the blankness of his eyes